Indiana Jones Haiku

For reasons not entirely clear to me, someone on a listserv I'm on suggested that we all come up with Indiana Jones-themed haiku in honor of tonight's release of Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

Here is what my deranged brain cooked up.

Indiana Jones
Graces the screens once more but
Where's John Rhys Davies?

Cate is a hottie
And Russian accents are cute
I bet he gets some.

His bullwhip will crack
Against the skulls of his foes
It sucks to be them.

Short Round is not back
He was a bit of a yutz
Yay for Marion!

The "crystal skull" thing
Is really sort of stupid
They're total B.S.

Shia plays a Mutt
No, really, that's his name here
Yeah, sounds really dumb.

And finally, from the heart:

Twenty years later
A fourth film has now arrived
Hope it doesn't suck.